Firstly, before I get into this story, I need to just say that from the bottom of my heart, I AM TRULY SORRY for making all of you wait this long. It's not cool to say I'll share with you soon and go quiet for about four months over. We'll talk more about me improving on my bad habits in the next post. For now, forgive me please? :)
Honestly, I'm so excited to tell you guys how it all started. I suggest you take a cup of tea. This is going to be a long post.
So let me take you back to last year.
It was a Sunday evening, 21st may 2017, I was sleeping over one of my good friends house. We had just finished watching a movie and was just chilling on the bed, which means, browsing on Instagram before shutting our eyes for bed. I was checking my DMs, and I saw a message from a friend who I met from my previous trip to London, Hana, a.k.a our match maker, lol. She messaged me asking if I was open to get to know someone because he is interested to get to know me.
I replied with a 'Is this guy decent and serious because, I'm so sick of getting to know guys who waste my time.' I'm not going to lie. I was still feeling a little sore from what happened the night before.
20th May, 2017, I ended it with a guy I actually thought would be the one (we weren't dating, just getting to know each other). He ticked all the right boxes, except later did I know, did not tick the ready to get married box. He made one too many excuses on postponing our meet up that I started to feel like an idiot. That night, we were supposed to meet, and an hour to the meet up, he made up another lame excuse as to why we should postpone it, yet again. My gut feeling said, he was stringing me along. So I said to myself, don't do this to yourself girl. You gave him enough chances already. Enough is enough. We don't let no man waste our time. Not going to lie, it did sting and hurt. But I didn't let myself shed a tear because I knew, this guy was not worth it. I told him to never contact me again and I'm not interested.
Hence why my first question to Hana about Yusuf was, if he was serious about marriage. She answered with a reassuring YES after telling me of how he's been on a rollercoaster journey too with finding someone. He was tired of searching and really wanted to get married. GOOD, my type of guy, hahaha.
'Ready to get married' box, check!
Basically, I trusted Hana and if she had lots of good things to say about him. I felt at ease to give the green light for him to contact me.
Literally five minutes after I said goodnight to Hana, just before midnight, I got an iMessage from firstname.lastname@example.org (sounds so serious). He was pleasant and polite in his introduction message. And more importantly, wasted no time and asked me right away when is the soonest we can meet up. This guy wasted no time, I laikkkkkkkkk. Can you imagine how refreshing it felt for me after the previous slow one? Yusufibrahim@gmail.com said he will come to where ever is convenient for me and will work around my time. A date was set for the next day after work.
The next day. Work ended and nerves had started kicking in, but I played it cool. I touched up my makeup from work, did Maghrib then changed into my go-to Zara boyfriend jeans, white Olloum shirt (of course half tucked in, and half out cause I'm fashion like that), black satin silk Duckscarf, and slipped on my Valentino studded heels.
As I sat in my Uber on the way to Rakuzen, it dawned on me that I was actually going to meet a total stranger. Now here's something you don't know about me. I HATE GOING ON DATES. It scares the crap out of me. I usually avoid it, or never go alone. But tonight, I braved myself and also, I didn't want to tell anyone (except my sister Huda) in case it was a flop. I didn't want to get anyones hopes up.
Guess what guys? He came with flowers. Awwwhhhhhh, die! I'm a sucker for flowers. He bought the wrong ones but it's okay because he apologized he couldn't find Peonies or Hydrangeas or Ranunculus. Yusufibrahim@gmail.com did his research (or Hana fed him with the right info) and made a really great first impression.
Our first meet up went really well because everything was just up in the air and asked without any hesitation. He cause me off guard when he asked me what type of partner I wanted. Sorry, I wasn't prepared to answer that tonight *nervous laugh*, you answer first. I said this quiet a few times through out the night, hahaa. Then I realized I really didn't prepare to answer serious questions that night. I did make sure my eyeliner were on point though (priorities). The good thing about not coming prepared was that I really just spoke from the heart, and was honest about everything. That was my favourite thing about that night. How comfortable I was to just share and I think so was Yusuf. (at this point of the relationship, he no longer just email@example.com)
The minute I got in the house, I couldn't keep it in. I sent a longggg voice note to my best friends. I knew they were first going to kill me for not telling them I went to meet a guy, and then be happy for me. And so it was true. I told them I have a good feeling about this one. Like FOR REAL. And then told my family the news as well.
The second meet up happened two days after the first. We continued on with asking each other important things we thought would matter for the future to see if we would be a good match. What were our beliefs, our stance on certain things, how many kids we want, where we wanted to live (without any hesitation he volunteered to move to my place because he knew I wanted to live near my mum, and plus, ttdi has a lot of good coffee, lol) , and that night he already asked if I could see a future with him. I'm telling you, he did not waste any time. Woahh, I was not ready for that question, you answer first. Hahaa, I'm kidding. I said, Yes I do. I told him I have a feeling he's going to be a great father.
On the third meet up, Yusuf was already having dinner with my family. After coming back from the mosque that night (we all went for taraweh prayers together the night Ramadan started), we sat to have a chat with my mum. It was hilarious because she asked us, so How long have you guys known each other? We both had a nervous laugh and said four days. I think both of us were in disbelief at just how fast things moved.
Regardless, everything about this felt right.
Three weeks later, we decided we wanted to be with each other. Not the let's-go-steady kind. The let's-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together kind of be with each other. My family was on board the minute I told them this crazy news. I love how chilled my family is. Also, they trusted me and liked how mature Yusuf seemed. My best friends on the other hand....I made lots of prayers they would see what I see in him. They're a tough crowd.
Alhamdulillah, after they met him and questioned him truck loads (he pretty much walked into an interview that night lol) he got the stamp of approval. Ajjie surprisingly turned out to be the scarier one with a long list of serious questions ranging from Do you know her spending habits to have you heard her burps? Vivy on the other hand, as usual, sounds all tough on the phone like, Who is this stranger who wants to marry my best friend?! to real life, Okay, *giggles* Okayla, go get married *giggles*.
Everything onwards was us planning our future, discussing the dates, and planning the wedding. It was set for 3rd September. I'm so so grateful that just about everything was as easy as it could be. We both agreed to have only our family and closest friends to keep it small. And that we wouldn't spend unnecessarily. We wanted to keep the day simple.
At this point, Yusuf and Asma' was at that point of wajib kene kawin because the electricity between us was very strong already, hahaa. Thankfully the wedding was less two months away. Honestly, if it were up to him, he wanted to do the nikah like a month after we got to know each other, but we didn't because his father works abroad. It was only right to wait for both his parents to be around for such a special occasion.
Three months later, we were married.
All praise and thanks to Allah for letting this happen. And all the love to my family and best friends for making this day happen for us both. Couldn't have done it without them!
You know what's the crazy thing guys? He told me he actually met me at Soup Kitchen one night seven years ago. He wanted to get to know me but he didn't see me again after that night.
Well I couldn't go anymore because I got married and moved to Singapore.
Then, five years later, I was single again, and another mutual friend of ours actually tried to set up. She looked at me, took her phone and scrolled back to our Whatsapp chat dated August 2016. Look! This is the same Yusuf we tried to set you up with but you didn't seem interested. I couldn't believe it, hahaa.
I guess we were meant to be.
Till today, I still can't believe I'm married to him. Everything literally just happened six months ago. I'm happy we both didn't wait long. I'm happy we were so open and honest with each other from the get-go. I'm happy we both decided to meet each other because we knew we were ready to make a commitment.
I'm really glad we chose each other cause I honestly can't think of a person more well suited person for me. Yusuf's been nothing but great, God bless him for this. He puts up with me during my crazy hormonal PMS days and without fail, will get me my hydrangeas. He always knows when I'm bothered. He picks up on my signals and will make sure to talk things out so nothing is kept hidden between the two of us.
Lots of you always ask me how I knew Yusuf was the one.
Truthfully, I don't know if there's such a thing as the one. But I do know for a fact that we both felt something was right here. We both felt at ease. And I'm all about following our instincts.
So that's how we met guys.
Share with me in the comments below how you met your spouse.
If you are still single, don't rush marriage okay. Only rush getting married when you've found a man you think suits you well. In the mean time, take your time to meet people and never be afraid to ask them the big questions, even if you've just met. Chances are, if he isn't afraid to talk about the big things, he probably is ready to experience all those things with you.
InshaAllah, I promise I will continue to share our story with you guys; the highs and the lows. This is only the beginning. :)
Have a lovely night, and I'll speak to you guys in the next post! xx
(I thank you all SO MUCH for all the duas made for us)