I had one of the funnest Friday nights recently, and guess who it was with? My mum! Who would've thought, seriously. Hahaa, not that my mum isn't a fun person, but you know...
I'm just extremely happy I've passed those days where the thought of hanging out with my mum made me cringe. Sometimes I can't believe I ever felt that. I can't imagine how hurt I would be if I knew my daughter felt that way. But alhamdulillah those days are way in the past because I think sometimes I enjoy hanging out with her more than she does with me. Would you believe it, she has chosen quality time with Facebook over me on some occasions, ahaha. True story!
Anyway, every time I look at my mum now, I am reminded by something profound that I recently learnt. Actually it's a little scary because I know for a fact I am not doing what I just learnt, not yet. Now we all know being good to your parents is a universal thing. And you've probably heard it like only a million times. But I never knew that giving your parents anything short of the best, is a big sin in itself! Yikes! MAJOR Yikesss!
So check this ayat out from Surah Al-An'am:
Say (O Muhammad 
): "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents; kill not your children because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not near to Al-Fawahish (shameful sins, illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) whether committed openly or secretly, and kill not anyone whom Allah has forbidden, except for a just cause (according to Islamic law). This He has commanded you that you may understand. (6:151)
Okay, I'm going to try and paraphrase Brother Nouman's explanation of this ayat as best (and clear) as I can. Basically this ayat states what Allah has made forbidden on us. If you notice, Allah mentions acts of haram we may already be aware of, such as avoiding any acts of shirik , murder and avoiding any act of shamelessness (i.e hanging out with non-mahram guys, watching inappropriate movies, flirting, etc). But out of nowhere, Allah reminds us to be good and dutiful to your parents. Where's the haram in that right? Because this whole ayat is supposed to be about things that are haram on us as the ayat started out with saying 'Let me tell you what you should not do'.
It's amazing how Allah has placed that statement there, because what it implies is anything short of the best (towards your parents) in itself is a major sin, haram in fact. There is no other action in Islam that requires you to do it with ihsan (perfection). Like you don't have to have ihsan in your prayers, in speech, in your hajj, for it to be accepted by Allah. But, when it comes to parents, if you don't give them your very best, you're committing a major sin. And this refers to every aspect you can think of; what you spend on them, the way you talk to them, the time you give them, your thoughts of them, what you cook for them, the clothes you give them, basically everything you can think of. They only deserve nothing but the best.
Mannn, when I was listening to him explain that part of this ayat, I just looked at my mum in guilt. All the memories of me talking back to my mum or dad came rushing back. All those times I brushed them off because I was being doing something else. All the times my mum asked me to give her a massage, and I only gave her a five minute one. At that point, I could feel my scale tipping real heavy on one side. I didn't want to imagine all the haram I've been doing towards my parents because not only do I suck, but I suck big time because I haven't been giving them the best!
The thing is, since my dad passed away years ago, I only have my mum left for me to take care. And even that is hard. Because I'm so chilled with her, I forget she is my mum sometimes! And because we also work together everyday with the cakes, conflict is bound to happen on many occasions, but I forget she is my mum. Like no matter how much I disagree on things, I should be doing it on my tippe toes and with utmost care and respect. But I don't and now I have to make it a point. May Allah make me mindful of this like all the time.
I thought about this ayat again last night and it amazed me how Allah never says anything by random. He put that statement alongside big acts of haram like zinah and murder to show just how significant the weight of sin is when you don't realise your parents deserve nothing but the best.
So, I came up with a back-up plan. Since I know I won't be able to do my best all the time because I'm so weak like that, I made my mum promise me that she will forgive me of anything and everything just because she loves me, hahaa. I don't know if Allah is down with that, but I'm happy my mum agreed to such requests alhamdulillah!
Anyway, to end this post on a lighter note (and not
make you guys feel how I felt when I first heard about the ayat above) I want share what happened on the night out I had with my mum a few nights ago. So she was
having a really really stressful night due to some personal things, and I
wanted to distract her. So I decided to have a date night with her even though
she wasn't in the mood at all. She was so down she even wanted to ditch on me
when we were just about to leave the house. But I told her if you don't hang out
with me tonight I'll just have to call some hot guy to take me out then.
(hehee, I don't have any hot guys number in my phone, but she didn't know that)
During dinner she was still feeling down, even
after I attempted some lame jokes. I tried! Then, out of nowhere, she smiled
and said, "I know what will cheer me up.........Facebook!". Can you
imagine how speechless I was, hahahahaa. Whatever makes you happy mum. So we
both sat happy, playing with our phones. But wait, she cracked me up even more
when dinner ended and she said to me, " Let's do something wild
tonight!". She must be feeling extremely stressed out guys because never
did I think my mum would utter those words! Can you imagine how even more
speechless I was then. Although her definition of wild clearly is totally
different to ours because the 'wild' activity suggested was to go to a cafe and
listen to Brother Nouman Ali's talk on our headphones. Hahahhaa!
In the end, I took her for ice cream and
reflexology at her favourite place. Don't worry guys, we got home by midnight. (And don't worry, I asked her permission first if I could share this)
To more 'wild' night outs with my mum inshaAllah! :)
